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Corrupt a wish

Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
I don't know if this game has been played before, but it's a fun game.

The rules are simple. The first post makes a wish. And the next post adds a funny or ironic consequence to corrupt it and makes a new wish.

Like for example,

First poster - I wish I could breath in water.

Next poster - Granted but now you can't breath on land.
<And he posts his wish also... >

and so on..

Ok, so my turn.

I wish that the spammers couldn't find my email id.

Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30123
    
150

Fun.

Granted. Emails now cost 50 cents each to send.

I wish batteries lasted longer


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R. Jain
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Posts: 370
    
    1

Granted. But once it discharges, you have to buy a new one.
Fun Game though
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Indeed, but in 2014 every fun thing will end too soon.

I wish I could fly.
Jesper de Jong
Java Cowboy
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Aug 16, 2005
Posts: 14074
    
  16

Granted. But now you can't use your hands to do anything useful anymore (because they've turned into wings).

I wish I had more hair on my head.


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R. Jain
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Posts: 370
    
    1

Lol. Granted. But it will grow fast enough to necessitate a hair cut every 3rd day.

I wish it wasn't really about money.
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Granted, but money is all you have now. (:chuckles)

I wish for a chocolate bar.
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11161
    
  16

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish for a chocolate bar.

Granted, along with a serious chocolate allergy.

I wish for a nap.


There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors
R. Jain
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Posts: 370
    
    1

Granted. But a scary dream is waiting to happen.

I wish I could dance well.
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 60782
    
  65

Granted. You are now Sleeping Beauty. (Beat on fred's wish).

Granted, you are a bee.

I wish for long health.


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Jeremy McNally
Ranch Hand

Joined: Feb 21, 2014
Posts: 92
Granted but now you must get a physical everyday by your doctor and cavity checks.

I wish to be a super expert in Java (and for the finest bottle of wine).
Paul Clapham
Bartender

Joined: Oct 14, 2005
Posts: 18541
    
    8

Congratulations! You're now in the village of Diwek in central Java and you're a super expert in rice farming!

The wine? Sorry, one wish per customer.

I wish for... um... Buddha, give me nirvana. But not yet.
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Granted. But he is on vacation. So you'll have to wait for a few years. Like just a 100 years. What is a hundred years these days!

I wish that ... that the sundays had at least 48 hours or the clock ticked slowly on sundays.
Martin Vajsar
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Posts: 3606
    
  60

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that ... that the sundays had at least 48 hours or the clock ticked slowly on sundays.

(Since we get one wish per customer, I've chosen the variant you'll get).

Granted, but all physical processes will be slowed down by an equal amount.

I wish I could get to space some day.
Chan Ag
Bartender

Joined: Sep 06, 2012
Posts: 1000
    
  16
Ok, you are in space. But now you're overwhelmed by the waves of enemies and there are many ships attacking you. Oh these computer games, I tell you! :-)

I wish that I had a magical wand that could do all my assignments.
Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30123
    
150

Chan Ag wrote:I wish that I had a magical wand that could do all my assignments.

Granted but "he who must not be named" is trying to kill you. (Harry Potter reference for anyone who hasn't read/seen it)

I wish that it got dark later in the evening.

(this is fun!)
Jayesh A Lalwani
Bartender

Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 2273
    
  28

Granted. it gets dark only for 2 hours

I wish I were thinner
Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30123
    
150

Jayesh A Lalwani wrote:I wish I were thinner

Granted, but now you are 6 years old.

I wish people would stop putting code in JSPs. (too serious?)
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:
I wish people would stop putting code in JSPs. (too serious?)


Not yet. :-) Granted. the JSPs look lovely. Only the Java classes have html now.

I wish that I can think of a wish before someone else posts.

R. Jain
Ranch Hand

Joined: Aug 11, 2012
Posts: 370
    
    1

Granted. But that person will post same wish you thought of before you

I wish I could go back to my school days.
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11161
    
  16

R. Jain wrote:I wish I could go back to my school days.

Granted. But now you have to take all your finals. Back to back. Starting in an hour. and you're hungover.

I wish I could play guitar.
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 60782
    
  65

Poof, you are now a rock star with a bad drug habit.

I wish my headache would go away.
Jesper de Jong
Java Cowboy
Saloon Keeper

Joined: Aug 16, 2005
Posts: 14074
    
  16

Granted - the pain has been moved to your toes.

I wish I was 20 again.
Paul Clapham
Bartender

Joined: Oct 14, 2005
Posts: 18541
    
    8

Zap, you're 20 cm tall again.

I wish it would stop snowing.

(P.S. I'm giving Heena a cow for this fun thread.)
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Granted. But you can't stay indoors and it's cold. Also you've got to do the cleanup.

I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Thanks for the cow, Paul.
Jeanne Boyarsky
internet detective
Marshal

Joined: May 26, 2003
Posts: 30123
    
150

Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Granted. And now you are a mother of an infant so you can't rest on the "vacation."

I wish I knew the answer to the problem in my head.
Robert D. Smith
Ranch Hand

Joined: Oct 04, 2013
Posts: 143
    
    5
Jeanne Boyarsky wrote:
Heena Agarwal wrote:I wish that I could go on a two months vacation and still have my job.

Granted. And now you are a mother of an infant so you can't rest on the "vacation."

I wish I knew the answer to the problem in my head.

Granted -- but the refrain from a bad song will repeat indefinitely.

I wish I could juggle.

Regards,
Robert


There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. Ray Bradbury
Scott Winterbourne
Ranch Hand

Joined: Jan 30, 2014
Posts: 114
    
    1

Robert D. Smith wrote:
I wish I could juggle.


Granted but now you are stuck traveling with the circus. (might not be so bad )

I wish I could travel around the world for a year and not worry about the money running out.
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 60782
    
  65

Granted. For the next year you are a government-funded satellite.

I wish for more time in a day.
Martin Vajsar
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Posts: 3606
    
  60

Easy! Enjoy your new 28 Hour Day schedule.

I wish that some law of nature would prevent cables from entangling into Gordian knots at the very moment I let them off my hands.
fred rosenberger
lowercase baba
Bartender

Joined: Oct 02, 2003
Posts: 11161
    
  16

Martin Vajsar wrote:Easy! Enjoy your new 28 Hour Day schedule.

I wish that some law of nature would prevent cables from entangling into Gordian knots at the very moment I let them off my hands.

Granted. They now tangle while still IN your hands.

I wish my wishes never get corrupted, but come true exactly like I hope they will.

Tim Cooke
Bartender

Joined: Mar 28, 2008
Posts: 832
    
  38

Granted. But now life is boring and presents no challenge.

I wish I could read very very fast.


Tim Driven Development
Martin Vajsar
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Posts: 3606
    
  60

Here you are. Unfortunately, you've already read everything and now your urge to read is insatiable.

I wish I would remember everything I read.
Jayesh A Lalwani
Bartender

Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 2273
    
  28

Granted. But then you won't be able to forget anything that you want to forget

I wish I could get out of this meeting
Bear Bibeault
Author and ninkuma
Marshal

Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 60782
    
  65

Granted. You're fired.

I wish people were more empathetic.
Heena Agarwal
Ranch Hand

Joined: Dec 25, 2013
Posts: 261
    
    4
Granted. All men and women who are not empathetic ( the indifferent, unfeeling bunch ) shall turn into zombies. Robots are granting wishes these days and they are poorly programmed. Their logic says that you are not an empathetic person after all, for you indirectly caused almost an entire civilization to turn into zombies.

I wish that I will be able to switch to a healthy lifestyle starting next week.
Tim Cooke
Bartender

Joined: Mar 28, 2008
Posts: 832
    
  38

Granted. Unhealthy foods and drinks are no longer available. Motorised transport and courier services are outlawed. There is no more chocolate and you now have to walk, cycle, row, etc everywhere you need to go. Chocolate loving petrol-heads hate you.

I wish the Mac keyboard had a # character on it and didn't require a seemingly meaningless key combination, that I can never recall correctly first time, to get it.
Jayesh A Lalwani
Bartender

Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 2273
    
  28

(Hmm my mac keyboard has a # character.. it's shift+3.. so I guess your wish is granted)

Granted. Except now the power button is right next to delete, so occasionaly when you try to delete something, the screen goes off

I wish we had point to point teleportation (like star trek and Ringworld) so getting to work meant stepping on a pad
Martin Vajsar
Sheriff

Joined: Aug 22, 2010
Posts: 3606
    
  60

Congratulations on your invention! I, however, regret to inform you that the fail-safe design of your device, together with frequent jamming of the transport protocol, leads to a person being duplicated - on average - on every thousandth journey. This quickly leads to overpopulation, housing crisis, mass unemployment and complete breakdown of the pension systems, not mentioning the illegal "ideal organ donor" market. The only people who actually prosper from the invention are marriage counselors, who are providing coaching to families in which the duplication affected spouses unevenly.

I wish I could install a cold fusion electricity generator capable of powering my house for the rest of my life.
Paul Clapham
Bartender

Joined: Oct 14, 2005
Posts: 18541
    
    8

Granted. And now you're dead.

I wish I could turn off the stupid Caps Lock key on this keyboard.
 
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