thanks for the article Jeanne. Interesting to note that the vm parameters to enable remote debugging may vary with the vendor. Calling "java -x" from the command line appears to show the supported vm params.
One of the really cool things about the Sun JVM is its support for remote debugging and resource monitoring and the fact that they provided info on how to write your clients such as the Eclipse and Intellij IDE debugging systems.
I don't know how portable that stuff is as a whole. Anything that starts with an "-X" is vendor-dependent, and "-D" items just define properties to the runtime environment which may use those properties any way it likes.
The secret of how to be miserable is to constantly expect things are going to happen the way that they are "supposed" to happen.
You can have faith, which carries the understanding that you may be disappointed. Then there's being a willfully-blind idiot, which virtually guarantees it.