I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." Police were called to a Pizza Hut in Blackpool at the weekend after the body of a worker was found covered in mushrooms, onions, ham and cheese. A Police spokesman said that the cause of death had not been established but there was a strong possibility that the man had topped himself.
Pounding at a thick stone wall won't move it, sometimes, you need to step back to see the way around.
Originally posted by Angela Poynton: Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Man , let me wipe my eyes... Angela, okay, those...were.....great. I'm always looking for 'walks into a bar' jokes. So the termite walks into the bar and says 'Is the bar tender here?' [ May 12, 2002: Message edited by: Rick Prevett ]