Is this a common problem for christians ?

[Abadula Joshi]

I have a friend who became a christian couple of years ago. Recently when we met, he told me he felt lot of pressure from his church. I was confused and asked him why. He said he can't afford so much time to participate in church activities like choir, small group study, and many many others that frequently request him to join. He wish he could just participate in the Sunday worship but he keeps getting lot of pressure from the local church to do other things not scheduled on Sunday morning.
I asked him why not say no if you don't have time. He said it is hard to reject because of his Christian faith. He said the church group discourages him to spend too much time on pursuing "things on the earth" like personal wealth, career advance, money making, etc, although it is OK to that; he was encouraged to focus more on spiritual things.
Since it involves religion issue I can't ask him too much. But it does interest me though. Is this a common problem christians need to handle in their daily lives ?

[Michael Ernest]

For starters. "Christians" is too general, and even "American Christians" doesn't express a lot of useful generalities.
Mainly in smaller communities that have a traditional 'stick-together' ethic, suburban/rural towns in particular, the church is a focus of social organization. Proselytizing is a mainstream Christian ethic, but the practice often extends to persuading peopel to deepen their existing ties to the church.
Certainly one lesson is not to mistake material wealth and success with spiritual growth. So they key is balance, and I think each individual has to decide what that balance is for themselves.
The rest of what your friend is describing sounds like he'd feel guilty or 'less spiritual' if he rejected those invitations to participate. If those activities don't bring him any closer to the church or God, then he's just got to ask himself if what he's doing really pleases anyone at all.
And if he wants to feel guilty about making money, cool: more for me that way.

[Fred Grott]

Originally posted by Abadula Joshi:
I have a friend who became a christian couple of years ago. Recently when we met, he told me he felt lot of pressure from his church. I was confused and asked him why. He said he can't afford so much time to participate in church activities like choir, small group study, and many many others that frequently request him to join. He wish he could just participate in the Sunday worship but he keeps getting lot of pressure from the local church to do other things not scheduled on Sunday morning.
I asked him why not say no if you don't have time. He said it is hard to reject because of his Christian faith. He said the church group discourages him to spend too much time on pursuing "things on the earth" like personal wealth, career advance, money making, etc, although it is OK to that; he was encouraged to focus more on spiritual things.
Since it involves religion issue I can't ask him too much. But it does interest me though. Is this a common problem christians need to handle in their daily lives ?

hmm sounds like he is fundamental christian..
MY Old priest had a saying(he as from the old school and old countyr-poland to be exact) Give to world what is the world give onto god what is god..
He answered the ssame question 30 some old years ago..When busy bodies from the Church Parish council woudl pressure young couples to spend more time in church aactivites when they needed to work to provide for a family..
Remind your friend that Family is considered one of the under table sacrament acts within most Christian faiths..he is right to spend time supporting that family using his world skills in career..

[Thomas Paul]

The question is, why doesn't he want to get more involved?

[Abadula Joshi]

posted by Thomas -- The question is, why doesn't he want to get more involved?

Thats' a question I asked him. He said the only available time he could afford to his local church (I don't know what branch of Christian church he belongs to) is Sunday morning, he has family, he has other non-church friends, he has hobbies, he has other things to do in his life, so he can't devote more to church. I asked him why not change to another church (of course, in the exactly same religion !) that may not be so demanding, but he didn't listen to me.

[Tony Alicea]

Better still, why doesn't s/he quit religion altogether?
That leaves more personal free time to do good.

[Thomas Paul]

Originally posted by Tony Alicea:
That leaves more personal free time to do good.

Or in the friend's case, more time to do his hobbies.

[Tony Alicea]

"Or in the friend's case, more time to do his hobbies."
Which will contribute to the Advancement of Mankind more than spending time with a "church", right?

[Thomas Paul]

Originally posted by Tony Alicea:
[i]Which will contribute to the Advancement of Mankind more than spending time with a "church", right?

Is this where you explain how playing with model trains will make the world a better place? And how working in a local church soup kitchen is a waste of valuable time?

[Tony Alicea]

"Is this where you explain how playing with model trains will make the world a better place?"
Me? I don't know what you are writing about. My parents's never had enough money to buy me 'model' trains. We were lower-middle class. I'm glad to know that you were rich. I wish my parent's had been too.
But instead I had to work extra hard but I knew I would be rewarded because I was born and raised in the United States of America.
Most likely you mixed somebody else's's post with mine.
But getting back in the subject (hopefully), I still say that the best charity (the real phrase is sharing what little you have with others) is done outside organized religion.
I know; I care; I show it.
Merry Christmas!
And more importantly, May The Best SPIRIT of the Christian Religion Be With You!
---
Tony Alicea

[Gregg Bolinger]

To bring this back to the question at hand...
As far as what Christian Affiliate this friend belongs to is irrelevent.
The fact that he is being pressured is relevent. Not all churches are this way. Especially not all Christian churches. It really depends on the church.
The best thing for this friend to do is possibly find another church where he feels more comfortable and accepted.
It is sad, but there are people in churches that don't have thier faith, God, or the church in their best interest. But that is everywhere.
It is not a Christian problem. It is a problem with the people that just happen to belong to that Christian Affiliatation your friend decided to get involved with.
I'm sure that there are Muslims, Buddhist, Hindu, etc with the same problem.

[Thomas Paul]

Originally posted by Gregg Bolinger:
The fact that he is being pressured is relevent.

So are you saying that if a church pressures you into doing the right thing that is bad?

[Jason Menard]

Gregg,
For all we know, based on how we've seen "coercion" defined in previous posts, "pressuring" may amount to something along the lines of: "Hey Bob, would you like to join our Thursday night Bible study?". I would also think that as somebody new integrates himself into a community, the community will seek out that person and make an effort to include them in all of their activities. This would be the case in almost any community, be it religious or otherwise.

[R K Singh]

NO Comments ....
But my 2 paisa
Dont do it if YOU dont want to do it.
Do it if YOU want to do it.
Dont listen society/world/people.

[Thomas Paul]

Originally posted by Ravish Kumar:
Dont listen society/world/people.

But the whole point of being a Christian is that you accept that you don't know what is best and are looking for guidance from others.

[Gregg Bolinger]

Originally posted by Thomas Paul:
So are you saying that if a church pressures you into doing the right thing that is bad?

All I meant by that was that the initial question was in regards to this friend being a Christian and getting pressured.
So everyone seemed to be focusing on his religious affiliation. Where in actuality, the fact that this person is a Christian isn't the relevent factor. The fact that this person is being pressured is. And thus, my response.
However, if the question was strictly, "Is this something that is part of being a Christian" then I supose his friends religious affiliation is relevent, and I would have to answer his question the same.
It is not a "Christian" ideal that everyone add pressure to the new people. I think that Jason's post pretty much sums up anything else I would say here.

Originally posted by Jason Menard:
For all we know, based on how we've seen "coercion" defined in previous posts, "pressuring" may amount to something along the lines of: "Hey Bob, would you like to join our Thursday night Bible study?". I would also think that as somebody new integrates himself into a community, the community will seek out that person and make an effort to include them in all of their activities. This would be the case in almost any community, be it religious or otherwise.