[lame humor] pick up lines

[paul wheaton]

# He: You are very prettty. Do you have any Italian in you? She: no. He: Do you want some?
# Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
# I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
# That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
# You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.
# Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

[rehans oberoi]

# Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

[Jessica Sant]

can't forget the ever faithful

> If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "u" and "i" together.

[Svend Rost]

I can play along too...

Me: Here is 15�. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.

Or, if feeling cocky and a woman says the following:
She: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Me: Do you have the energy?

/Svend Rost
[ December 06, 2005: Message edited by: Svend Rost ]

[David O'Meara]

He: Wuill you be sleeping on your stomach tonight
She: No, why?
He: do you mind if I do?

When he was about 12, a friend from school was holidaying in Bali (Indonesia). He asked a passing woman "Do you have the time?", her reply (to a 12yo) "If you have the place".

[Stan James]

Hey, let's see if my hardware is compatible with your software.

Most of the time I have a floppy disk but I'm getting a hard drive right now.

Want to see my RAM?

There's no smiley for getting slapped really hard.

[Amanda Leigh]

I've heard "I'm like milk baby, i'll do your body good"

[Badriprasad Bumbabol]

And i thought some of the ones that my ex got were bad.

This is such a terrible one. Would it be a crime to ask if he pulled ?

Originally posted by Amanda Leigh:
I've heard "I'm like milk baby, i'll do your body good"

[Scott Selikoff]

Me: Want to get some pizza, go back to my place, and make love?
Her: No
Me: Well if you don't like pizza we can just skip it.

Sappy ones...

"Mind if I see the tag on your shirt?" (after checking) "I was just checking to see if it said made in heaven"
"Was your father a thief? He must have been to steal the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."

And an old favorite...

"Nice shoes, wanna F***?"

[Mark Spritzler]

"Do you know the difference between talking and having sex"
"No!"
"Great, let's go back to your place and talk."

Mark

[Scott Selikoff]

Oh and another sappy one I remember:

"Do you have a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams"

I think I learned these in middle school...

[Michael Ernest]

A few I remember from a Mad Magazine years ago:

"You remind me of a hooker I once met in Fresno."
"You're ugly but you fascinate me."
"Want to go to a party in my toolshed?"

If the girl you want to impress has a sister, try these on the sister in her presence. If the girl laughs, you're on your way. If she doesn't, clear a path to the emergency exit.

[Ramender Mall]

If anyone thinks to try all the above mentioned pickup lines, in near future..
Just prepare for the worst case scenarios also...

1. I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run
down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Reply : I don't mind where you die.. as long as you do!


2. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Reply : So, how many times did you fail kinder garten?


3.Are your legs tired? Because you been running through my mind ALLday
long.
Reply : Yes, they are. I've been running away from you!


4. Are you lost? Because it's so strange to see an angel so far from
heaven.
Reply : How many times have you been to heaven, anyway?


5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you
again?
Reply : Yeah.. why don't you walk by and just keep walking!


6. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
Reply : What are you on? Crack or cocaine?



7. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Reply : (too corny.. maybe a disgusted look would be enough)


8.You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
Reply : You can be sure of going to hell.. your stupidity will assure you
of a place!


9. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Reply : So, that's your problem.. simple algebra!

[Vishnu Prakash]

Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, Where did I come from?"

His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have
to find out anyway!"

"Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete
button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her
operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity
from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine
months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!!

[Sameer Jamal]

Originally posted by Vishnu Prakash:
Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, Where did I come from?"

His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have
to find out anyway!"

"Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed
to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete
button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her
operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity
from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine
months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!!

Junior replied so I was not born I was downloaded

[Dave Lenton]

Has anyone actually used one of these lines and had it work? Has anyone been on the receiving end and liked it?

[Stefan Evans]

another couple:

You like to talk? Come over here, sit in my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.

Or bound to confuse most of 'em
If I were to ask you to sleep with me, would your answer to that question be the same as the question I am asking you right now?