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Beauty and the Beast

 
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OK, in the Disney movie of this name, the castle is filled with talking , dancing, ordinarily inanimate, but now not so much, objects: dancing dishes, talking teapots, chattering cups, worrying wardrobes, scheming candleabras, galloping hassocks. Apparently an evil enchantment has turned all the people who lived and worked in the castle into home furnishings related in a more or less sarcastic way to their names or personal characteristics ("Oh, your name is Lumiere? Fine, I'll make you into a damned Candleabra! Hahahahahaha!) Got it? Good.

OK, so if you look around in this castle, all the furniture, all the dishes, all this stuff is alive. And at the end, everything turns back into people when the enchantment is broken. Got it? Good.

OK, so, here's my question. Where the hell are the real dishes? Where is the real furniture? After the kitchen staff got turned into dishes, feather dusters and such, did they somehow use their tiny porcelain hands to pack the real dishes into cardboard boxes and call U-Store-It to come pick them up? Did the living bloody bureaus push the real ones out the windows into the moat?

Then when everybody comes back to life, they're in deep trouble, because there are no dishes, no furniture, no carpets, no torches, clocks, candles. They threw everything out to make room for their own bloody selves! They're in this enormous dark empty castle without, apparently, a pot to piss in (I wonder who got turned into that!)

OK, people, talk to me. What's the lowdown?
 
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I have several theories:
  • They were converted to energy to power the spell.
  • They were shunted to another dimension.
  • They were shunted to the void, known as Hell by some, along with millions of Cybermen from Pete's World, and millions of Daleks formerly imprisoned in the Genesis Ark.
  • This is ultimately a children's movie, and we are fundamentally missing the point by worrying about this stuff.


  • Personally, I'm still stuck on the third option. A good Dalek/Cybermen conflict needs plenty of inanimate dinnerware to shatter.
     
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    My theory is that fathers who are subjected to too many viewings of Disney movies develop a unique mental illness called DAD (Disney Absorption Disorder) that makes them obsess regarding minutia and irrelevant details of Disney movies.
     
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    Originally posted by Bear Bibeault:
    My theory is that fathers who are subjected to too many viewings of Disney movies develop a unique mental illness called DAD (Disney Absorption Disorder) that makes them obsess regarding minutia and irrelevant details of Disney movies.



     
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    My theory is that the staff were turned into whatever things available in the castle that best suited their character and look. When the spell is broken, those furniture, utensils and etc are simply back to their location where they're originally placed. After all this is a fairytale, so anything is possible.
    [ July 09, 2006: Message edited by: Joyce Lee ]
     
    ranger
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    Originally posted by Joyce Lee:
    My theory is that the staff were turned into whatever things available in the castle that best suited their character and look. When the spell is broken, those furniture, utensils and etc are simply back to their location where they're originally placed. After all this is a fairytale, so anything is possible.

    [ July 09, 2006: Message edited by: Joyce Lee ]



    Yeah, I mean it is obvious that the actual person and the actual furniture were melded together with the spell. And seperated when the spell was borken. It is in the FairyTale 101 Handbook. Didn't the hospital hand that to you the day your first child was born?

    Mark
     
    Ernest Friedman-Hill
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    Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
    Didn't the hospital hand that to you the day your first child was born?



    Hmmm, no. They give you so much stuff; the free formula, and diaper samples, and coupons, and itemized bills, and Vaseline, and all sorts of instructions and pamphlets. Maybe we dropped that one in the parking lot.

    Anyway, the "melding" theory is, surprisingly, not one that I had considered, and I find it highly satisfying. I also like Jim's alternate dimension theory, although once the Daleks have smashed the dishes, you're still left with the "no pot to piss in" difficulty that I described; so melding it is.

    I knew I could count on the JavaRanch brain trust in this difficult times.
     
    Sheriff
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    Originally posted by Mark Spritzler:
    ...it is obvious that the actual person and the actual furniture were melded together with the spell. And separated when the spell was broken...


    The energy implications are significant, as most analysts agree that these transformations demonstrate technologies far beyond a simple fusion/fission model (even under modified Eisinbr�ge-Str�hiafe protocol). No... There's clearly atomic plasma involved. It's a wonder the castle still stands. Unless...

    Unless the region of influence (which we might consider a N�mnarr Singularity) is phase rectified against some equivalent mass of otherwise inert particles. This might seem farfetched, but it would explain the curious odor.
     
    Bear Bibeault
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    Originally posted by Ernest Friedman-Hill:

    I knew I could count on the JavaRanch brain trust in this difficult times.



    I still assert that you've got DAD.
     
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    EFH,

    You show more of your geekiness side every time you post here.

    Eric
     
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    Maybe all the furniture got sold on eBay.
     
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