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Needed! Java Developer! Immediate need! Ugent!

 
Sheriff
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Wanted, Java developer for immediate position in a fast-paced company.

Requirements:
  • 35+ years Java experience
  • 50+ years programing experience
  • 100+ years agile experience
  • Must be young and good-looking, with perfect hair.
  • In depth knowledge of: J2SE, JEE, J2EE, J3EE, J4EE, JXYZ, JABC and JJJJ.
  • Must have created 17 open source projects.
  • Must be author of at least 12 books.
  • Must have solved world hunger and cured cancer.


  • Salary:
  • A miniscule stake in the company with which you may one day be able to purchase shelves for your garage.
  • Satisfaction of a job well done.
  • Free soda!
  •  
    Ranch Hand
    Posts: 327
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    I know ZJ. Does that count?
     
    Bartender
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    Bear Bibeault wrote:Must be young and good-looking, with perfect hair.


    Damn, so close!
     
    author
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    I have 20 years of developing Ruby on Rails, is that good enough?
     
    Bear Bibeault
    Sheriff
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    The 20 years of experience must have been packed into the past 2 months in order to qualify.
     
    Bartender
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    Dang, if my dog had only written one more book...

    __________________________________________________________
    no luck, db
     
    Scott Selikoff
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    Have you tried asking The Moose? I hear he's an expert.
     
    Bear Bibeault
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    He's the hiring manager.
     
    Sheriff
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    I will accept this position, provided there are no restrictions on harassing the office gals.
     
    Bear Bibeault
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    marc weber wrote: provided there are no restrictions on harassing the office gals.


    There are none. In fact, Helga encourages it.


     
    marc weber
    Sheriff
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    Well, ain't she a purdy lil' thing! I'll start Monday. Please make sure my desk is near Helga.

    Also, what is "Java"?
     
    Greenhorn
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    marc weber wrote:Well, ain't she a purdy lil' thing! I'll start Monday. Please make sure my desk is near Helga.

    Also, what is "Java"?




    Hahahaha

    You just made me literally LOL. Good work!
     
    clojure forum advocate
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    Sorry not interested, looks like a position for junior programmer.
     
    Scott Selikoff
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    John Todd wrote:Sorry not interested, looks like a position for junior programmer.



    Especially if Helga is doing the training.
     
    Ranch Hand
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    hahaha laugh out loud
     
    Marshal
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    I have got twenty years’ experience in the nest twenty years, mostly have having Ruth breathe down my neck if I sit opposite Helga.
     
    Bartender
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    I read Chapter 1 of Inflating Your Resume For Dummies and I once helped my brother make a web page for his 7th grade homework, so clearly I'm your man.
     
    Consider Paul's rocket mass heater.
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