UML on Star Trek

[Ernest Friedman-Hill]

I don't know how many of you used to watch Star Trek: the Next Generation; when it was in its first run I was a big fan, anyway. I remember that whenever they needed to modify or adjust the operation of the ship, Jordie or Data would "write a subroutine." This process would involve what looked a heck of a lot like a touchscreen with very colorful UML diagrams on it.
So, four or five centuries hence, real programming (can't get more mission critical than Warp Core control!) has finally become a graphical activity.
Uncle Bob, tell us about this far-off future dialect of UML, which is, finally, better then code!

[Ilja Preuss]

In the cut scenes on the ST:Nemesis DVD, at the end the captains chair *finally* gets seat belts! Would you trust that engineers to build reasonable computer systems?
BTW, do you noticed that everytime there is something wrong with the computer they start a "level x diagnostic" to find the problem? I vaguely remember someone (Kent Beck?) telling the story of thinking "That's what I want, too!" when seeing it on TV. And now we have JUnit...

[Robert Martin]

Once, during a gravitational sling-shot experiment, Picard came back to the 21st century and beamed me aboard to do some consulting. Java was the primary language they were using on board the Enterprise (like COBOL, java will never die). Jordie had read my "UML for Java Programmers" and had implemented a simple UML drawing tool that followed it's principles. The tool would automatically erase 10 minutes after the last change, and it had no print function. Engineers would gather around the screen, brainstorm their ideas, and then leave the screen to blank itself while they left to write their tests and code in pairs. (Except for Barclay, of course. He went to the holodeck to fiddle with virtual Troi.)

[Thomas Paul]

Actually they were using MDA.

[Jeff Bosch]

Please don't say that "COBOL will never die". That's the language I'm forced to write in, and I absolutely hate it and it's cousin, JCL.
Give me C, Java, assembler, UML, heck even VB would be a step up! Help! Stuck in COBOLville!!! (Come to think of it, I think mowing lawns would be more fun than COBOL, which stands for Crappy Obsolete Boring Old Language...)

[Thomas Paul]

Better to be an employed COBOL programmer than an unemployed Java programmer.

[HS Thomas]

The tool would automatically erase 10 minutes after the last change

Not based on Forte (NetBeans) in Windows XP , by any chance?
Sounds like a good XP UML tool, though.
regards

[Jeroen Wenting]

Originally posted by Thomas Paul:
Better to be an employed COBOL programmer than an unemployed Java programmer.

Indeed... At least an employed COBOL programmer gets to eat, and doesn't put his immortal soul in jeopardy every time he starts a compiler like the denizens who use VB

[HS Thomas]

The XP Starship sometimes has to deal with software from the Klingons:
How would it's developers convert the Klingon programmers to their way of thinking? Unfortunately, quite a few are close to home.
Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (from SJ Bakers site - can't find the link):
A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
Our competitors are without honor!
Specifications are for the weak and timid!
This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
My program has just dumped Stova Core!
Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
N more things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team
"I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 review team to a round of Bat-Leth practice on the holodeck. They will not concern us again."
"C++? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary."
"Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Bugs are good for building character in the user."
"Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, Offensive programming is what we do best."
"Klingon multitasking systems do not support "time-sharing". When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine."
"Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
"Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes'. Typically leaving a trail of wounded programmers in it's wake."
"Klingons do not believe in indentation - except perhaps in the skulls of their program managers."
regards

[Ilja Preuss]

[Juan Rolando Prieur-Reza]

HS, son of Thomas, has shown that his heart is truly Klingon. He hearsthe cry of the code warrior. Surely hot java runs through his veins.
Ka.plah! (or however you spell it)

[HS Thomas]

From SJ Baker's site , actually. It did strike a chord,though.
regards

[Jeff Bosch]

Jeroen Wenting said:

At least an employed COBOL programmer ... doesn't put his immortal soul in jeopardy every time he starts a compiler like the denizens who use VB

Jeroen -- have you ever written in COBOL or JCL? I'm not so sure about the safety of my immortal soul ...