"The procedural programming language formerly known as the third letter of the English Alphabet before said letter was deemed to be useless and subsequently removed." How about 'Q'? It is even less usable than 'C'
The writer was kwoted as saying that "In the sekwal of the story after the earthkwake hit the kweendom, the highly kwalified kween known for ekwality and justice, ekwipped with knowledge, kwit playing with the skwirrels and kweryied her akwaintance to help her out in conkering the hearts of the people who were kueuing up outside the palace akwarium"